The Forever Queen (Pendragon Book 2) Read online

  The Forever Queen

  Nicola S. Dorrington

  For three incredible women.

  My sister, Jo Dorrington-Neville, and my closest friend, Katherine Mills, who both read my stories before anyone else ever did,

  and my Mum, Susan Dorrington, who was my fan before anyone else was.

  Fairy tales are more than

  true: not because they tell us

  that dragons exist, but because they tell us

  that dragons can be beaten.

  G.K Chesterton/Neil Gaiman

  Text Copyright 2015

  Nicola S. Dorrington

  Chapter One

  The cliff fell away below us, down to a jagged pile of rocks pounded incessantly by waves the colour of iron. The sky above was overcast but here and there the cloud broke, and long fingers of sunlight touched the water, turning the tops of the waves to cascades of diamonds. Away on the horizon the sky was black, lit now and then by the lightening of the encroaching storm.

  It was beautiful, in a breath-taking, exciting kind of way, but I barely sparred it a glance. I didn’t have eyes for anything but Lance.

  He was more breath-taking than any view. His hair hung longer than the last time I’d seen it, and the wind tugged at the dark curls, pulling them into his eyes.

  Despite the cold wind he wore just a thin t-shirt, and the fabric strained at his biceps and around his chest. Was he even bigger, more muscular, than last time I’d seen him? How long had it been now? Months for me, since I had left him, but for him it could have been anything. Minutes, hours, days, maybe even years. Time moved so differently in Avalon it was impossible to know. What I did know was that he was still in Avalon, and I wasn’t.

  “This is just a dream,” I mumbled as tears started to slip down my cheeks.

  He reached for me, catching the tears with his thumb. “Yes.”

  A sob bubbled up but I forced it back down. It might only have been a dream, but I couldn’t let tears ruin those few precious moments with him. My dreams were the only thing I had left of him.

  “I miss you.” I forced the words out around the sob, my voice breaking.

  His eyes closed, and in one motion he enfolded me in his arms. I clung to him, twisting my fingers into his t-shirt. Burying my face in his chest, I breathed in the scent of him and the all too familiar smell of metal polish. It was a smell I associated with him. Would always associate with him.

  His heart beat steadily beneath my cheek, almost fooling me into believing it was really him.

  “You’re not real,” I whispered into his chest, more to remind myself than anything else.

  His chest rumbled with a laugh. “Just because this is a dream, that doesn’t mean it isn’t real. You should know that better than most.”

  I tipped my head back to look at him and he took the opportunity to lower his lips to mine. He kissed me long and slow, and I fought back tears again. I had missed this so much, the feel of him close to me, his arms around me, one hand tangled in my hair.

  I had missed him. His strength and gentleness, and that look in his eyes that said nothing mattered but me.

  “Don’t cry, Cariad,” he murmured against my lips.

  I shivered at the endearment. “But this isn’t fair. I need you back. I did everything that was expected of me, and yet I paid for it by losing you.”

  “You haven’t lost me, you could never lose me.”

  That wasn’t true. I had lost him. He may have still been alive, but he was gone, locked in another world. “Nothing works,” I told him. “I’ve been trying to find a way into Avalon, but all the gateways are sealed.”

  “I know. That’s why I’m here, why Merlin managed to find a way into your dreams.”

  I looked up at him in surprise but he didn’t let me speak.

  “The barriers were rebuilt when you traced your blood on the stone, and that should have been it, but for some reason all the gateways sealed themselves as well. Something went wrong. The Fair Folk are angry, they think you sealed the gateways on purpose, trapping them in Avalon – “

  “I – never – “

  “I know, Cariad. As does Merlin. Something came through when the barriers were at their weakest, and Merlin believes that whatever it was caused the gateways to seal. If it was a creature of magic then it must not be allowed to roam free in your world. You must find it, track it, and then find a way to send it back to Avalon.”

  My heart leapt and lodged in my throat. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Sending Morgana back to Avalon should have been the end of it. My fate and destiny had been fulfilled, hadn’t they?

  Lance didn’t seem to notice my distress. “Merlin says you must-“

  A deafening pounding sound drowned out Lance’s words and I clung to him as something tried to pull me away. He started to fade and I realised I was waking up.

  “No, not yet,” I cried, trying to force myself back to sleep, but already the dream was disappearing and as my eyes opened I realised the pounding was coming from my bedroom door.

  It felt like losing Lance all over again. I squeezed myself into a ball as sobs shook my body. It felt like a part of me was missing, like someone had reached in and yanked out my guts.

  “Cara, get up! You’re going to be late for school.”

  Dad’s voice through the door was clipped and cold. It had been the same almost every time I’d spoken to him since I’d come home. I could hardly blame him after everything I’d put him through.

  I’d disappeared in the middle of the night, no note or goodbye. Over a week later I’d returned only to leave again without any explanation. I had gone only to say my goodbyes, not thinking I would survive my confrontation with Morgana Le Fey. I still remember the look on his face when I’d arrived on the doorstep a day or so later, bruised and bleeding in tattered clothes.

  At the time he’d been delighted to see me, welcoming me home with open arms. But when I’d been unable to explain where I’d been, or what I’d been doing the coldness crept in. He wanted answers, and I wouldn’t give them to him.

  But what could I say to him? He would never believe the truth – no one would.

  He believed I’d run away with a boy, and I’d come back because it had all gone horribly wrong. Funnily enough, it wasn’t a million miles from the truth. But it hadn’t happened quite the way he’d thought it had.

  Some days even I struggled to believe it had all happened. Less than two months ago I’d been living my normal life, struggling through school and difficult ex-boyfriends. Then I’d discovered the truth and it all changed.

  Not only was I the last descendent of King Arthur, but all of the legends were true. Magic, the Knights of the Round Table, and the Fair Folk all existed. And somehow I had been saddled with a destiny greater than anything I’d realised.

  On top of that I’d found Lance, the reincarnated teenage version of the great knight Lancelot, and fallen in love with him. Only to lose him before we’d really had the chance to discover each other. It had been two months since that night at Stonehenge. Two months since I’d left Lance in Avalon. He’d promised me he wouldn’t keep me waiting.

  Thinking of Lance doubled the pain in my chest and I was almost pleased when Dad pounded on the door again pulling me out of my spiralling thoughts.

  “I mean it, Caronwyn. You need to get up now. I won’t cover for you with the school again.”

  I knew once my full name came out that he meant business. He never called me Caronwyn.

  “I’m up,” I called back through the door, untangling my legs from the covers and hoping Dad didn’t notice my voice was thick with tears.

  Honestly, school was the last
thing on my mind. I wanted to spend all my time trying to find a way to get Lance back, and school was just a distraction.

  Yet keeping up appearances was important, I mused as I got dressed. Or at least, that’s what everyone kept telling me.

  I had to act like I cared when really I was just going through the motions. There had already been too many trips to therapists’ offices, too many meetings with the school board, and too many conversations with the police who’d spent over a week searching for me. I couldn’t afford to keep drawing attention to myself.

  I dressed at record speed and got downstairs just as Dad was gulping the last of his coffee. Before I could open my mouth to apologise he cut me off.

  “You better get moving.”

  I sighed and nodded, shrugging on my coat. I tried to say goodbye but Dad had already turned away. I mouthed the word at the back of his head and left as quickly as I could.

  Spring still seemed a long way off when I stepped outside. The sky was obscured by thick grey clouds, oppressive and heavy. It wasn’t raining, but the downpour threatened at any moment. The trees at the end of the driveway were still bare. Winter held on tight for the time being.

  My breath puffed out in a white cloud, and I tugged my coat tighter as I headed down the drive. I got just a few steps up the road when a beaten up yellow Beatle idled to the curb beside me.

  The window rolled down and a familiar boyish grin flashed my way.

  “Morning, Percy.”

  His grin widened. “Need a lift?”

  I smiled back and opened the door. Throwing my bag onto the back seat, I followed it in quickly. The only things keeping me going through the return to my old life, through losing Lance, were these two. Sir Gwain and Sir Percival. Or as I knew them, Wyn and Percy. Two of Arthur’s most loyal knights, and currently the best friends I had. “Chivalry’s still alive and kicking then I see.”

  Wyn grinned at me in the rear view mirror. “Forever at your service, my lady.”

  Chapter Two

  The yellow Beatle rolled to a halt outside the school gates and Wyn cut the engine, but for a long time I didn’t move.

  I sat, staring out of the window at the milling students, twisting the strap of my backpack around my fingers. I’d been distant the whole ride to school, dwelling on my dream and Lance and tuning out Wyn and Percy’s banter in the front.

  “Cara?” Percy twisted round in his seat when he realised I wasn’t moving any time soon. “What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

  I fought down the lump rising in my throat, but my voice still cracked when I spoke. “I dreamt of Lance last night.”

  “That’s understandable,” Wyn said carefully. He hadn’t turned around, but watched me instead in the rear view mirror. It meant I could only see his eyes and the worried crease between his dark eyebrows. “You miss him. We all do.”

  I shook my head. “It’s more than that. It wasn’t just a normal dream. Merlin wanted him to deliver a message. Something bad is coming.” I hesitated, trying to piece together the already hazy memories of the dream. “In fact, it’s already here. Something stayed when we closed the barriers to Avalon.”

  Wyn thumped the steering wheel and swore, but Percy looked almost eager. He was easily bored, and I think he’d been craving some kind of excitement. It didn’t matter what kind.

  “What exactly did Lancelot say?” Wyn demanded, finally turning to face me and ignoring Percy’s muttering about finally getting some action.

  The sound of the school bell interrupted my answer but I ignored it.

  Wyn had other ideas. “You’d better get inside, Cara. We can talk about this later. We’ll pick you up.”

  “But this is far more important than school,” I protested.

  Wyn twisted in his seat to face me. “It is important. But so is keeping up appearances. If you don’t show up for school they’ll call your father. He’ll end up driving you to and from school so that he can keep an eye on you. Then even the little time we have together at the moment will be lost. If he catches us at your house he’ll kill me. Go to class, we’ll be here when you get out and we’ll decide what has to be done.”

  It was strange, seeing Wyn take charge. Even though he was the oldest of Arthur’s knights, he had mostly deferred to Lance, looking to him as the natural leader. With Lance gone the role had fallen to Wyn, and so far he seemed to be dealing with it admirably.

  I sighed. “I know you’re right, but it doesn’t make it easier. It’s been months and we’re still no closer to getting Lance back. It’s frustrating. And now this.”

  “I know, I really do. But come on, or you’ll be late.”

  “You sound like my dad,” I muttered, but I pushed the door open and climbed out. “Just make sure you’re here when I get done.”

  The day passed in a blur. I found it hard enough to focus anyway since I’d been back, but that day it was harder than ever.

  As Mr Mackay droned on about Charles Dickens in my English class before lunch I stared out of the window at the boiling black clouds. The storm I’d seen in my dream hit with a vengeance, and Mackay had to keep raising his voice over the sound of thunder and the drumming of rain on the windows. I kept playing the dream over and over in my head. The problem was instead of focusing on what Lance had been trying to tell me I could only dwell on the feel of his lips against mine, the warmth of his breath on my cheek and the strength of his arms.

  I didn’t hear the bell, didn’t notice my class mates packing up and starting to leave. I didn’t notice anything until a heavy bag knocked into my shoulder, startling me out of my memories of Lance.

  “God. She’ll be drooling and talking to herself next.”

  My head snapped round to meet Anderson’s mocking expression as Rebecca laughed at his lame joke. Samantha was nowhere to be seen.

  James Anderson. I hated him. More than I think I’ve ever hated anyone in my life. Except perhaps for Morgana La Fey. But then she’d tried to kill me, Anderson had only done everything in his power to make my life miserable. I was ashamed to admit I’d thought myself in love with him once.

  But whilst I still hated him, things had changed. Where once I would have felt tears burning my eyes in humiliation, now I just felt anger. None of these idiots knew what I had been through. None of them knew how close their lives had come to being turned upside down. And I hated that I couldn’t tell them. That they wouldn’t believe me if I did.

  Instead I just fixed Anderson with an icy glare.

  “You’re a dick, Anderson.”

  “And you’re a nutcase. We all have our cross to bear.”

  I swept my unopened book into my bag and stood up. “I’m not insane. Never have been, never will be.” I leant in closer and dropped my voice so Rebecca couldn’t hear me. “And you know it; you’re just too scared to admit it.”

  His eyes widened as his Adam’s apple bobbed frantically. I felt a small surge of victory. I’d been right; Anderson had always known I wasn’t lying about my dreams. It was just easier to pretend otherwise. I smiled. I didn’t need to rub it in, it was enough that he knew, and I knew.

  “See you later, Anderson.”

  As I swept out of the classroom I heard Rebecca asking what I’d said to him.

  I didn’t wait to hear his answer.

  Even though it was lunch I didn’t go down to the cafeteria. The storm had passed and the thunder and lightning was now nothing more than a distant rumbling, but it was still bucketing it down with rain. My usual bench in the courtyard was awash with water, but the overhanging roof around the edge offered a small amount of protection from the rain so I stood there, leaning against the wall to eat my lunch. It would have been drier inside but I couldn’t do it.

  I’d only eaten in the cafeteria once since I’d been back. Even though I’d sat at the other side of the room the table where Lance and I once sat constantly drew my eye.

  I remembered almost every conversation we’d ever had, but those early ones, before ever
ything had changed and I’d still thought he was just a regular teenage boy, were particularly vivid.

  I could almost hear his voice on that first day, when I’d told him off for staring at me.

  “If you’re sitting here waiting for the psycho girl to do something crazy, then you’re out of luck.”

  “Disappointing. I guess we’ll just have to talk like normal people.”

  I laughed to myself as I unwrapped my sandwich. As if Lance and I had ever been anything close to normal. The memories were painful and so I twisted my thoughts back to my dream, this time trying to focus more on what he’d said rather than being close to him. It was hard though, when I missed him so much.

  He’d said something had stayed when we’d closed the barriers. Something that had messed with the closing spell, sealing the gateways as well.

  I shivered even though it wasn’t that cold. I knew the kind of things that dwelt in Avalon. Some were wonderful. Some of the Fair Folk were truly breath-taking; beautiful, wise and magical. Like the Lady of the Lake, Nimue, who had helped me come to terms with who I was. But there were other things in Avalon. Darker, more dangerous things. Like the wraiths.

  Even the thought of those long dead knights made the day seem darker. The last time I’d faced them had been on that dark night at Stonehenge. Yet I knew it couldn’t be them. The wraiths had been summoned by Morgana Le Fey, and she was long gone. They only existed when there was someone with enough of the old magic to control them. Lance had said a creature, which ruled out any of the Fair Folk as well, although they could be pretty terrifying in their own right. The problem was there were a lot of things in Avalon I didn’t particularly want to face. I didn’t know which would be the worst.

  When the bell finally rang I was no closer to an answer, but I was, if anything, more afraid.

  I clock watched for the rest of the day, counting down the minutes and seconds until the end of the school day. When the final bell rang I was the first person out of my seat, and I was out the door before anyone else had even moved. The usual curious looks followed me down the hall, along with the flutter of whispers that followed me wherever I went.